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August 28, 2006

I'd like a dead woman with that, please

Bopping into Albertson's last night, I was amazed but not surprised to see an eroticized female corpse featured on the news rack. Maybe I should say I was surprised but not amazed. Even after all these years of documenting my culture's love affair with beautiful dead women, I'm still a little taken aback at just how common these images are.

Anyway, I snapped a shot of her so she could be added to my growing flickr archive. Here you go.

Why do these representations proliferate in a democracy predicated upon equality? Well for one thing we've not yet gotten past our sexist belief that it's only the men who are created equal. Women are another species entirely. And so these fetishized corpses help position the female as "other," in Simone de Beauvoir's terminology, something that exists separate from normal humanity. It's no accident that we were completely left out of the earth-shattering Declaration that all men are created equal. In that liberating document, “men” does not mean me.

This image, like hundreds of thousands of others that represent the female as an object, construct the viewer as male. For what's my relationship to this fetishized object? Am I supposed to identify with her? I'd rather not, all things considered, and so I am forced to become in effect a man who is gazing at the mortal chaos of femininity. Since most of our representations in this media-saturated culture replicate the same sexist dynamic, most women tend to identify against our own position as woman, forcing us into a kind of schizo relationship to self. I'm not man, goes the argument, but I am certainly not that thing either, so I must be something else, not sure what, but something else.

For this very reason many of us females "side" with male culture against women, hating feminism, the only civil rights movement in a nation predicated on civil rights which expressly defends woman's rights. It would be impossible to understand this rejection of our own independence movement were I not familiar with how our identity has been affected by living in a male-dominated society. This hesitancy to identify with the "female" also accounts for why so many of us have uttered the phrase "I don't really like women." Again it would be crazy for a female to say this since she's in effect saying "I don't like myself," but actually she's referring to that Thing that we are all told women are. I don't want to see myself as helpless, idiotic, silent, stupid, dead, nor do millions of the rest of us, and so we turn on "woman," fearing that if we become one, our human potential will be forever curtailed. Better side with men and make fun of women. It’s safer.

At the same time there's myriad pressures to be "her," to look pleasing, be cooperative, not have power except the power to draw the male gaze. We are allowed to desire as long as what we desire is to be the object of desire. Welcome to the bizarre world of the female. I'd better make you look at me or else I don't matter, but when you do look, you see me only for my use value and deride me for my vanity.

See why I loved finding feminism? It offers a route out of this madness.

Finally, we represent females not only as objects but as dead objects because for one thing the most objectified a human can become is to be a corpse. Corpses both are and are not human beings, pieces of garbage yet poignantly familiar. So a dead woman titillates us with her proximity to humanity and yet her always already outside positionality, a perfect example of the Other. Also, as death became less and less familiar to Westerners, with the medicalization of illness and the handling of bodies by professionals, we grew more and more likely to represent it as beautiful. Since women=beauty for us, then a beautiful corpse needs to be sexed as female.

Also, as in this latest image, the suggestion of violent death comforts us insofar as it's well removed from the way most of us will die--of old age. Sexy, violent youthful female death thus permits a massive cultural fantasy that mortality is actually the fate of the "other," not us; we're immortalized by our position opposite to the helpless female corpse. JonBenet anyone? How about A Walk to Remember? Saw both of those representations of beautiful dead females on t.v. yesterday, as well as seeing the Black Dahlia ad later on at the grocery.

And people tell me this is my obsession! Believe me, the LA Times wasn't responding to my pleas when they decided to put the picture of a dead woman on the newsstand. Nor did the book author, publishing house, screenwriter, producer, director or movie studio take suggestions from me in creating this project. I'd be more than happy to see these images go away. Meanwhile I am still waiting for a publisher for my book, which is about refusing to become the perfect corpse.

August 26, 2006

A Few Words About Behavior

As long as you live, keep learning how to live.
-Seneca

I've had such a lovely day today, filled with meaningful exchanges amongst acquaintances both old and new. I baked a cake to help some elders celebrate their health and well being. I went to a party where those gathered all spoke about how much we love and value a certain woman in our community. I lunched with a friend I absolutely adore and we shared intimately and honestly about our journey through life. I exercised in a space I feel comfortable and enjoyed the power of my body. I also thought about my character, as I do every day, as well as how I behaved--both towards myself and others--as I do every day.

And so as I sit here in my kitchen perusing the latest comments on this website, tired but satisfied in every way with my life, I wonder why so many people believe that they'll find happiness by being rude and dismissive to me and to those folks who post here in a spirit of community.

Actually I don't wonder why they attack me and anyone else they can, both for big ideas and small typos. Our country tends to valorize "winners" over "losers," encouraging competition without consideration of the effect that one's behavior will have on others. When Adam Smith was engineering the free market, he promoted self interest, but with one key adjective that we seem to have forgotten: "enlightened." Otherwise, Smith and others feared, encouraging people to destroy all social bonds in a race for personal gain would lead to a world pervaded by selfishness. Any sense of ethics would be trampled in the stampede.

Was he right?

For awhile Christianity managed to temper the pressure people felt to excel, but at the same time, the Protestant emphasis on individuality contributed greatly to the resulting idealization of victorious "chosen" people and a disparagement of those who seemed incapable of competing successfully. We dismissed the teaching that we should pay special care to the least amongst us and—just as alarmingly--developed a nagging fear of becoming that “least” ourselves.

So today, in a country that claims we'll rise to the top if we just try, many people attempt to gain their sense of self through putting other people down. It might well be the only avenue to "success" that they can attain, the only way to feel "special" in an environment that says you'd better be superior or there's something seriously flawed about your character.

I decided a long time ago that I would no longer participate in this dynamic. I don't call people names. I don't laugh at them for making mistakes. I don't spew contemptuous vitriol at them when I disagree with their views. None of this means that I don't hold people responsible for their behavior--for each of us is responsible-- and I grant my fellow humans the dignity to face the consequences of their actions. But it long ago ceased to bring me any but the most fleeing satisfaction when I acted arrogantly. Also I realized that although I am not a religious person, it made sense to approach the world with an attitude of charity; this became and remains my daily goal.

Therefore, as to why I don't respond to the snotty comments people make, it's because there's absolutely no point. I know how miserable these souls are. I've been there. To participate in their dynamic of shame and self-loathing would only reintegrate me into a system I've eschewed, one using a kind of math that says I am ok only if you are not.

No thanks.

In teaching my class to debate, I talk with them about the possibility of disagreeing with someone without behaving inappropriately. Mature adults can do this. Perhaps those who come to this site only to degrade it did not see the adults in their childhood model appropriate behavior. They are working with the only tools that they have. I can only imagine how harshly they were judged by those whose job it was to love them unconditionally. And since I feel compassion for them, I do not have to react to nor validate their hateful slurs. I also invite them to change their ways, to treat me and the other people who post to this site with respect. I’ve found this is the only way to guarantee that I can respect myself, by behaving with dignity and apologizing when I fail to hit the mark.

Every morning before I begin the day I kneel in humility and say this prayer to whatever agents caused us all to be sharing this planet: "God, I surrender the people I love; the people who love me; the people I don't love; and the people who do not love me. Help us all find peace." I take this moment to center myself, to address the reality of difference without having to resort to the disasterous coping mechanism of intolerance. As with my scholarship, I believe in this way of being in the world because the best that I have read and heard, the wisest and healthiest people I have encountered, all lead me to choose what clearly seems the path of truth and joy.

If you disagree with my conclusions, be sure that those you arrive at serve you well.

August 23, 2006

A Couple of Great JonBenet Ramsey Links

Here's the fabulous James Kincaid weighing in on our national pedophilia.

And Andy Borowitz adds an amusing spin.

August 17, 2006

The Strange Saga of JonBenet Ramsey

So they caught the guy who did it, did they? Hmmm. I will be very interested to know why this pedophile, intent on sexually molesting a little girl, broke into the Ramsey's mansion, sat down on the stairwell, and casually penned a three-page ransom note (with several drafts), asking for the princely sum of $118,00 to kidnap a billionaire's daughter. $118,000!!!!! Hardly seems worth getting out of bed for, much less risking the death penalty.

Oh, and he "forgot" to kidnap her. Curious.

The case has been of interest to me over the years since it centers on my research specialty, representations of corpses of dead women. I'm not so much intrigued by the who-dunnit--which according to everything I have read points to a very mundane case of parental child-abuse and an astonishingly amateurish cover-up--as I am by the why-do-we, as in why do we care about this child murder, devoting hundreds of hours of airtime to it, and not about all of those other thousands of unsolved child murders that have occurred before and since?

The answer is simple and painful and revealing: racism, sexism, and classism.

We love beautiful dead girls. Beautiful dead white girls, that is, since whiteness corresponds to our construction of beauty in the United States. And we love girls, not women, for our current construction of femininity dicates that the ideal female be passive, silent, small, wrinkle-free, fat-free, and most of all, powerless.

JonBenet could not fit this description any more perfectly, and that's why any of us have ever heard of her, keep hearing about her, have never stopped looking at pictures of her or thinking about her. She's the eroticized corpse that sells soap; she's the sexualized girl who promotes the fantasy of youthful beauty. All of those pictures of her, dressed up, smiling, performing, ingratiating, fit perfectly into our sexist insistence that women exist only to please, to be looked at, to serve.

As I was researching the case for an article, I was constantly asked "how could her mother do that to her?" These people never meant "how could her mother have become so incensed at her wetting the bed that she clocked her with a flashlight and killed her?" even though this is the scenario most of the detectives involved found the most plausible. Apparently bed-wetting is the number one cause of child abuse. And most children are killed by their parents, not some strange monster lurking in Thailand. (Just like most women are killed by their partners, not some mystery man on the street.)

No, these people who asked how her mother could have "done" that to her were expressing shock and disgust at the fact that her mother dressed her up cute. That her mother. dressed. her. up. cute.

The hypocrisy of this never failed to amaze me. I live in a country where we expend prodigious resources on encouraging females to make themselves as beautiful as possible and to curry male favor above all else. It worked for her mom. She was a Miss America contestant who snagged herself a rich hubby. Thought that was the American Dream! For girls, I mean. You see, we're part of the get-a-house-and-wife-and-kids-and-other-stuff formula. We're not the getters, we're the got. To be an American is to be a man.

So her mom had the time and the money to make her girl into a male's prize possession, with super expensive ball gowns and formal wear and sports wear and SO WHAT? Everybody acted like she dressed her up like a hooker, which she didn't, and made her turn tricks, which she didn't. JonBenet looked like a lady who lunches, a rich socialite, when she wasn't in some stupid costume like the "cowboy's sweetheart" dress, all flouncy and poofy. "I want to be a cowboy's sweetheart," she warbles off tune. Well of course she does. If she didn't, everybody would run around calling her a dyke.

We scapegoated that image of femininity she represents, one in which the we encourage the girl to be a heterosexual cutie-pie, as if we don't do this every single day on our own, in our own ways, as if we don't give Disney princess-parties, don’t give toddler females their own “vanity” tables, don't wrap little lace bands around the heads of infant girls. That one slays me. Hey, hope nobody mistakes this future sex object for a male! Look, it’s a girl! Why does it matter when you are one month old?

The majority of missing people in this country are black males. But cheesecake images of Natalee Holloway fill the airwaves. We’ve allowed men and women of color to be thrown away; we allow ourselves be entertained by the eroticized images of young white women. I long for a day when instead of this we value all people equally, as our country purports to do. I long for a day when we value females for our strengths and not for being young, powerless, pleasing, blonde and dead. SLEEPING BEAUTY, IT'S TIME TO WAKE UP!!!!!

August 16, 2006

Finally a good reason to get implants!

Tue Aug 15, 7:43 AM ET

JERUSALEM (Reuters) - An Israeli woman's breast implants saved her life when she was wounded in a Hizbollah rocket attack during Israel's war with the Lebanese group, a hospital spokesman said Tuesday.

Doctors found shrapnel embedded in the silicone implants, just inches from the 24-year-old's heart. "She was saved from death," said a spokesman for Nahariya Hospital in northern Israel. The woman has been released from hospital.

August 8, 2006

Just Another Day in L.A.

Turned on the local news this morning to see about the weather and instead caught a report on Hugh Heffner's health. (Don't worry, he's fine.) And, in a wondrous coincidence, an upcoming segment features "his three girlfriends." (Guess they don't have names?) Following the, er, girlfriend "news," Dr 90210 will be imparting essential medical information-- about butt implants. (Maybe they should rename it the "Hypocritical oath"?)

Yesterday this same channel (KTLA) "informed" the viewing audience that women who wear tight jeans and have a roll of skin protruding over the top are called "muffins." Must have been the police report--policing female bodies, that is.

So glad to know that journalists haven't abdicated their essential role as sexist tools of the patriarchy. How else could we guarantee the continued healthy functioning of our democracy?

August 4, 2006

Mediated Spritituality

Does listening to a yoga program on t.v. while playing tetris on my laptop count?