Actually, I think turning the TV off is the best solution to the problem. And turn your little friends' TV's off, too. Tell them that TV makes people stupid and docile. It makes them shut up and buy things, which stimulates the economy.

Don't write to yoplait. What're you nuts? Didn't someone try that with McDonalds? And what did it get us? I'll tell you. It got us a pedometer with every happy meal and pictures of "Dirt-Biking Grimmace" and "In-line Skating Hamburgler" on the bag. Suddenly, the consumer is subjected to the admonishments of some soulless, grease-pit of a corporation. "Take a walk every now and then, fatty!" says McDonalds. And we're all, "Can we get fries with that?"

Don't write yoplait. What are they going to do, even if they do give a crap what you think? They'll sell bigger servings of the same goop, put some beefy actress on the same beach looking smuggly down her fat nose at the waif from the old "body-loathing" commercial. They'll change their slogan to, "Love yourself, even if you are kind of on the chunky side!"

I am posting a comment for some advice.

I am new to feminism. I am a 34 year old mother of a 17 month old daughter. I doubt I will be married one year from now. I've changed so much from becoming a mother. I see the world in a whole new way and had I known what I know now I would not have chosen my husband as my life partner.

If I could predict what's best for my daughter (have an unhappily married mother is better than a happy divorced mother, for example), I'd make that choice. But I can't predict the future. Most evidence states having married parents is better so I am considering couple counseling even though I have no desire to work on the marriage. He changed as soon as I got pregnant (and this was a planned pregnancy, we had already been married 5 years, and known each other since we were kids). He's emotionally distant, unhelpful and now I realize sexist. I am sick of trying to make it work.

Anyway, I digress. Back to my advice question.

Will you recommend any "beginner feminism" books for me? I am not yet comfortable giving out any contact information so if you don't mind posting in a comment on your blog that would be great. Else, I completely understand if you don't want to.

You and Bitch Phd (I found you through her) have changed my life.

Anon- I would suggest that many men are selfish once a child comes along. If he isn't helping now out of sheer joy he will never help out and that makes for a very long unhappy life with someone. In the end it will be you and your children doing everything alone anyway. Good luck and I hope you don't mind my 2 cents. I have seen your situation many times over.

*Dr. Diana- Hope you are doing Ok. I'm just checking in to say hello. :)

An ice cream company had similarly wasted female models on the latest British TV advert for one of their products 'Magnum' chocolate covered ice cream lollipops. These women were barely more than skin wrapped skeletons, giving the impression I suppose that these fatty sugary products will still leave women looking 'desirably'anorexic. There were so many compaints that the ad is now shown without the skeletal women. It's so sick.

I relate to all of these comments so readily it frightens me. What is makes me more upset is the influence it has on my children. That aspect make me mad, furious, enraged and all other manner of anger expression. My children are, according to the BMI scale (yes, they actually measure children on it now.) overwieght. I do not think that they are, but their pediatrician reminds me of their score once a year at their exams. My children are 6 and 9. My children are not, I repeat, are not overwieght. And no, I am not a mother in denial. I run everyday. I am active and I too, according to the BMI, am overweight. My husband is active, rides his bike and we all boat and eat healthy, yet according to the BMI he also, is overweight. That commerceil you are referring to makes me sick. My children hear that they are overweight and they ask me all the time what diet I think they should be on. I tell them that they are fine, they are active and that they are genetically going to struggle all their lives to fit the social standard. But I tell them they are wonderful and loved and then I go swimming, skiing, biking, running or whatever with them.

You want to know the saddest part of all this. You would think that it is their age, nope. They are both BOYS! I hurt in my heart everyday for them because they will never look like the "ideal". It's genetically impossible for them. And I cry every time a grown up tells them they need to loose weight.

They swim on the swim team, everday. They participate in Karate two days a week. I soooooo identify with what you have said and I hope that someday, as a society, we get it.

I wish there were more people in the world with your perspective. I only hope my hugs, love and encouragement can build children with strong self-esteem. Wish me luck.

BMI testing, eh? I better not even get started on that.

Well, here's a bit of a curve ball, I guess: My brother, father and I (and probably my son) have Marfan's syndrome. We are very slender, tall, and--well, at least I am, oddly proportioned--like Abe Lincoln.

Many women are perfectly comfortable telling me that I disgust them because I'm so thin.

When I was a child, a concerned teacher once asked me if "really wanted to look like that."

I won't allow the school to test my son's Body Mass Index. It's none of their goddamned business.

More power to you, after seeing you on national tv, I just had to send my congrats to you. More power to you.

What's the problem with all these people? Haven't they seen breasts before? There's absolutely NOTHING wrong with the pics--they're probably the most plain vanilla semi-nudes I've ever seen!Haven't they got anything better to do?Like invading Iraq or spying on our phone calls?

I saw you on MSN and thought you were great. I identify with you completly. I am an artist and I paint mostly women. Many of my paintings are rejected in juried shows because many of subjects are nudes. There is nothing pornographic about these works. I love the human body and consider it beautiful.
Here in Virginia, censorship thrives. Art has been covered or taken down because god forbid a child might see it or someone might be offended! I am the one who is offended by this type of censorship.I am realizing that I too am a feminist, meaning that I am pro-woman.
Thank for your statement. I think we still have a long way to go!
Truly,
Kathy Landes
Virginia Beach, VA

I saw you on MSN and thought you were great. I identify with you completly. I am an artist and I paint mostly women. Many of my paintings are rejected in juried shows because many of subjects are nudes. There is nothing pornographic about these works. I love the human body and consider it beautiful.
Here in Virginia, censorship thrives. Art has been covered or taken down because god forbid a child might see it or someone might be offended! I am the one who is offended by this type of censorship.I am realizing that I too am a feminist, meaning that I am pro-woman.
Thank for your statement. I think we still have a long way to go!
Truly,
Kathy Landes
Virginia Beach, VA

It seems almost hypocritical that you attack skinnier people when arguing against 'committing crimes against women's well-being'.

I acknowledge anorexia and bulemia are terrible diseases becoming all too prevelant in today's society, but so too is obesity. And a much bigger problem at that.

Having struggled to gain weight and being ridiculed throughout my youth for being underweight, reading your column does nothing in helping me feel comfortable about my body. I was constantly tormented for being 'anorexic' when I was anything but and constantly being inundated by columns such as yours further detracted from self esteem.

Sure commercials are often idealistic and can seem unreasonable, but so too are your views.

If you really do wish for all women to feel comfortable in their bodies I would think that you would not be singling out some as 'sick women starving to death'.

The reality is you should be promoting healthy bodies, and not being so goddamn unjust. Otherwise you are no better than those you argue against.

I think you may be too sensitive to your own situation to grasp what was being said. The commercial clearly inferred that the model should be ashamed of her body unless she ate their "diet" product and that any amount of fat on the female form is something to be ashamed of. Women of all body types should be accepted, as is, though unhealthy weights (whether over- or under weight) are exactly that - unhealthy. A male friend of mine obsessed over his fat intake and ended up in the hospital because his cholesterol level was too low. In striving for "perfection" we're all damaging our selves and cheating ourselves out of a full life.

While, as you said the commercial 'clearly inferred that the model should be ashamed of her body unless she ate their "diet" product', Diana is also clearly inferring that skinny people must be anorexic and ashamed of their bodies too.

Do not assume that I am inable to grasp a concept. I am addressing a wider issue at hand which is an obvious bias and hypocrisy when supposedly arguing against negative body image portrayals.

Is that not fair?

I think Roxi has a point. When I was a boy, kids sometimes called me "bird chest" because my ribs showed. I ate like crazy, but it all went to making me taller, not wider. (Plus I ran around playing outside a lot... lost art?) If I were truly undernourished I would not have ended up as the tallest person in my extended family, right? Some people are just naturally thin, and even ribs showing is not necessarily fair criteria for "diseased... undernourished... sick... starving".

However, this does not disprove the perfectly valid point that constantly showing one extreme body type as an ideal is not only ridiculous, but harmful.

how do you all feel about drama queens?

how bout self-absorbed, rude hypocrits?

if someone criticizes your body, they are obviously insensitive bastards, but when you do it, you're just helping right?

Hi Diana,
I just found your site, and I agree very strongly with everything you say. I have already passed "Only Rapists Can Stop Rape" on to a lot of other people.

I want to talk to that woman in the unhappy marriage with the baby girl- I was there. I stayed in an abusive relationship for a long time because I knew all the statistics about boys growing up without their dads. Let me tell you one thing. It's bullshit! I was doing all the parenting anyway, but at least now I can do it in peace, and free from fear. The difference in my son's and my lives since I packed up my toddler and moved to the opposite side of the country a year and a hlaf ago is astounding. I too am just discovering feminism. I'm reading books about it at the moment, and feeling more empowered on the inside although I have yet to display it on the outside. I also think men are discriminated in different ways, and are struggling with their identity. I respect a true snag more than I can say, especially having lived with mach male chauvenism for so long...well that's it from me. I'll be a regular visitor here. You go girl!

If y'all wanna talk sick ads: How about those newest Hummer ads? If someone is rude to a woman on the playground, she should buy a huge, gas-wasting, takes-up-two-parking-spaces-and-can't-fit-into-one-lane-properly- SUV! If a man doesn't feel that he's getting the respect to which he's entitled as a possessor of the almighty penis (all hail penis!), then he has to immediately buy a Hummer to combat his emasculation. Hah!

Or what about Carl's Jr? All men are morons, all women are whores. And the worst part about it? No one even seems to notice.

Good job, Dr. Blaine! Your vigilance serves us all well. Can't wait to start your class in a few weeks!

Oh - and PS - WOMEN, not men, take children to the playground. Men also don't go grocery shopping, do laundry, do dishes, clean bathrooms, dust shelves, etc...at least according to the advertising world.

Also, men's hair somehow requires a different kind of hair dye - one that causes women to throw themselves on the man who uses it!

Ha ha. What a bizarre, subversive industry is advertising!

I will continue to visit enjoyed the reading thanks

Here's an article about a fashion show that turned away super-skinny models. Unprecedented, apparently.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14748549?GT1=8506

The formula they used allows for a model 5'10" 125 lbs. That's still pretty damn skinny. Thirty percent were even skinnier than that and were turned away.